GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
