well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
