his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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