Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
