She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize