have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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