Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
