I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize