Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize