My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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