I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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