There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
