i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
