dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
