She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
