She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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