I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
