Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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