jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
