I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
