There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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