I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i now understand why vodka
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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