ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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