GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
