Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
