Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
