I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
