I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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