I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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