i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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