you guys were way drunker than both of me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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