office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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