your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
