As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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