I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize