The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I smell like Dick and happiness
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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