sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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