you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Everything about him screamed your future.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
