I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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