every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
