Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
