The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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