My nipple is on Facebook.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
