I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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