"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
