He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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