We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
