i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
