Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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