Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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