Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
