did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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