My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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