How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
