Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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