I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
