I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
