i just wanna soil my oats bro
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
