Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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