I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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