i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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