How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
