Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
