You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
