You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
