It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
